


Fuck the French

by KittyCarlise



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: High School AU, I Blame Tumblr, I don't even know guys, M/M, This is all Mle's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:05:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1570289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyCarlise/pseuds/KittyCarlise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire didn't like the new kid from France. Nope, not one bit. And he definitely wasn't jealous of how he somehow seemed to have so many friends without even trying. Definitely not.<br/>The boy was a god, literally. Okay, maybe not literally. He was tall, with curly blonde hair and perfectly tanned skin. Grantaire hated him. It didn't help that they got paired together for an English project and now Grantaire had to spend more time than he would like with him.<br/>His name was Enjolras, and he was so into his French culture that it was almost comical. Almost. To Grantaire, it was one of the most annoying things about him. There were a lot of annoying things about him, like his annoyingly perfect hair, and his perfect face, and his perfect voice, and everything about him.<br/>Grantaire couldn't stand him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck the French

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for what you are about to read, this is such shit.

Grantaire didn't like the new kid from France. Nope, not one bit. And he definitely wasn't jealous of how he somehow seemed to have so many friends without even trying. Definitely not.

 

The boy was a god, literally. Okay, maybe not literally. He was tall, with curly blonde hair and perfectly tanned skin. Grantaire hated him. It didn't help that they got paired together for an English project and now Grantaire had to spend more time than he would like with him. 

 

His name was Enjolras, and he was so into his French culture that it was almost comical. Almost. To Grantaire, it was one of the most annoying things about him. There were a lot of annoying things about him, like his annoyingly perfect hair, and his perfect face, and his perfect voice, and everything about him.

 

Grantaire couldn't stand him.

 

At least that's what he was telling his best friends. Of course, Bahorel, Eponine, Jehan, and Marius didn't believe him. 

 

He ended up complaining about Enjolras so much that finally Marius snapped, "Grantaire you're in love with this guy, we get it, shut up already!" 

 

Grantaire would never forgive him for screaming it out in English class, the one class they shared with Enjolras. Who was of course now looking over at them with confusion, causing Grantaire to go bright red and duck his head, "Damn it, Marius."

 

When Grantaire met his friends at lunch they took one look at him and laughed, "Really, Pontmercy? You had to tell them?"

 

"I'm sorry Grantaire, it's just I'm so stressed about my essays and you literally won't shut up about that guy and it's really frustrating." Marius wouldn't look at him.  


Bahorel rolled his eyes, "Calm down, R, I'm sure he didn't even know Marius was talking about him."

 

"Talking about who?" Courfeyrac asked as he sat down beside Marius, tossing an arm over his shoulder. 

 

"No one!" Grantaire said loudly, shooting Marius a warning look. 

 

Courfeyrac chuckled, "It's Enjolras isn't it?"

 

"Damn it, Marius." 

 

"Actually it was Jehan who told me, but that doesn't matter. I know exactly how to hook you two up." He leaned forward excitedly, expecting Grantaire to be just as excited.

 

"No no no, I do not need you to do anything. I don't want to be hooked up with him." Grantaire said.

 

Jehan snorted at that, "Yeah right. We all know you just really want to go over there and make out with him."

 

Grantaire went bright red, "I do not!" He looked back at them and sighed, "Seriously, there is no way I would ever date him."

 

"Not date, I'm just saying you totally want to bang him." Jehan chuckled.

 

"I do not want to bang him, shut up!" 

 

"Well, that's definitely not what I expected to hear when I came over here." Said a new voice from behind Grantaire.

 

He turned around in his seat, prepared to snap, and promptly shut his mouth when he realized Enjolras was the one who had walked over, "Uh, hey. Is there any chance you'll pretend you didn't hear that?"

 

"He may, but I will never let you live this down." Courfeyrac said, causing Grantaire to pick up his water and throw it at the other.

 

"Anyway....I was wondering if you wanted to come to my house so we could work on our project?" Enjolras asked nervously.

 

"Yeah! I, uh, I mean, sure, why not?" Grantaire tried to shrug off his too-quick agreement, but judging by the snickering from behind him, it didn't work.

 

"Great, this is my number, I'll text you after school." He said, grabbing Courfeyrac and dragging him back to their table.

 

"Don't you dare say a thing." He warned, pointing between his friends.

 

"Grantaire wants to get laid." Jehan said in a sing-song voice, giggling as Bahorel pretended to play a guitar to his song. 

 

"That's it, I have no friends." He said despairingly, banging his forehead against the table.

 

"Aw, that's not true, you have Eponine." Marius said, patting Grantaire's back sympathetically.

 

"Who is not here today and therefore does not count." Grantaire sighed as the bell rang.

 

"Tell us how it goes tonight." Bahorel winked, before walking away with Jehan. 

 

~Red the color of the time jump~

 

Grantaire was standing at his locker with Bahorel when he got the text from Enjolras, asking if he wanted to just go with him now. 

 

"Aw, is your boyfriend texting you?" Bahorel asked teasingly, leaning against the locker next to Grantaire. 

 

"He isn't my boyfriend." He rolled his eyes, texting a simple yes to Enjolras before heading out towards the student parking lot, Bahorel trailing behind him.

 

"R is gonna go get laid, he's gonna get some French booty." Bahorel sang from beside him.

 

"Shut up, 'Rel." He grunted, shoving Bahorel away from him, causing him to bump into Jehan and Marius. 

 

Marius was the only one that had a car, Bahorel was the only one who had a license, Grantaire had the job to pay for gas, and Jehan had.....well, Jehan had the only house they could crash at when they didn't want to go home.

 

Grantaire pulled his wallet out and tossed it to Bahorel, "I don't know how many days I'm going to be doing this for so keep that." 

 

"Make good choices!" Jehan called, quickly followed by, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" from Bahorel.

 

He spotted Enjolras by his car, slowing slightly when he saw Courfeyrac and his friend (boyfriend?) Combeferre standing with Enjolras. 

 

"Hey, uh, sorry I took so long. I needed to give Bahorel gas money so he could take Jehan and Marius home and you probably don't care." He shoved his hands in his pockets as his rambling trailed off awkwardly. 

 

Courfeyrac grinned, "I see why Marius hangs out with you, you're adorable." He shot a look at Enjolras with that statement.

 

Combeferre cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met, I'm Combeferre." 

 

"Grantaire." He said shortly, taking Combeferre's outstretched hand because he figured it was only polite.

 

"Shall we go?" Courfeyrac asked, trying to stop the awkward silence. 

 

"Right. Enj, are you and Grantaire okay with sitting in the back?" Combeferre asked, unlocking the doors.

 

"Of course they are!" Courfeyrac said, climbing into the front seat. 

 

Combeferre sighed and smiled fondly, "Sorry about that, he's a bit....energetic." 

 

Enjolras chuckled, "That's an understatement." He opened the door for Grantaire, "His other door doesn't work, you can go first."

 

Grantaire climbed in awkwardly, never had he felt more uncomfortable in his life. The car ride was short, he and Enjolras got dropped off first and then he was walking into the nicest house he'd ever been in. Considering where he grew up, it's not surprising that he'd never been in such a nice house.

 

Enjolras closed the door behind them and gestured towards the stairs, "My parents aren't home and my sister won't be home for a while so it's just us. My room is up that way."

 

Grantaire nodded and followed him up the stairs. "So, how did you want to do the project? I know it's supposed to be done on a foreign book, so you're probably going to want one of your French books."

 

Enjolras nodded as they entered his room, "Yeah, I have a couple books we could use if you want." 

 

Grantaire stood in the center of the room, unsure of it would be okay for him to sit on the bed or just stay where he was, "Yeah, It would probably be easier since you know more about that stuff."

 

"It really wouldn't be that hard for us to read a book one of us isn't familiar with." He said, before awkwardly gesturing towards the bed, "You can sit down, if you want." 

 

Grantaire set his bag down and carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, "But it'll get the work done faster if we do one you know."

 

Enjolras rolled his eyes and sat down in his desk chair, "Do you ever do anything the hard way?"

 

"Why waste my time doing school work the hard way when it doesn't matter?" Grantaire smirked.

 

"How can you say it doesn't matter? Your education is what propels you through life!"

 

"No it isn't! I already have a job, I don't need a diploma for it, and I want need a diploma for anything else I do either."

 

"Just because they were willing to hire you while you were in high school, that doesn't mean that they're willing to keep you as an employee."

 

"Why wouldn't they? I do my job well and I don't complain about it. There is absolutely no reason for them to not keep me."

 

Enjolras stood, "You can't possibly be telling me that you're not going to finish high school? Why on Earth would you plan to drop out?"

 

"Because school hasn't done anything for me! I have done more with that shitty job than I could if I stay in school." 

 

"Seriously? If you get a diploma and go to college you could earn way more money than you are now!"

 

"I can't afford to go to college, so I don't need a diploma! Why does it matter anyway?"

 

"Because you're so smart, I've seen your test scores! You could go so far!" 

 

"What kind of douche bag thinks he can look at my test scores and then thinks he can tell me what to do with my life?"

 

"I'm not telling you what to do! And I am not a douche bag!" 

 

Grantaire wasn't sure how it happened, but at some point he ended up standing as well, arms flailing as they shouted at each other, "Oh please! You have got to be one of the most pretentious douche bags that I have ever met!"

 

"How can you say that? You don't even know me!"

 

"I know you well enough with all of your stupid French bullshit!"

Enjolras turned away and threw his hands up, "pourquoi les garçons mignons sont ils si bête."  


Grantaire rolled his eyes, "Of course you would switch the argument to French so I can't actually respond."  


"No I just figured insulting you in English would be rude." Enjolras crossed his arms, "I also don't see how my French culture pisses you off so much."  


  
"Maybe it's your stupid accent or maybe it's the fact that you literally won't shut up about how great France is." He sighed, "Really, you're always all 'hon hon France Eiffel Tower   croissant baguette.'"  
  


 

"Okay firstly, 'hon hon'? 'Baguette'? Secondly, you literally just mentioned the easiest French things you could've thought of. I guess I have to take back my earlier statement, maybe you aren't really that smart." 

 

"You're going to judge my intelligence on my basic knowledge of France? You really are a pretentious douche bag." 

 

"I'm not judging you on your knowledge of France, I'm judging you on your ability to come up with insults on the spot. Really, you wanted to hurt me with that but it was the lamest insult to France I have ever heard."

 

Grantaire frowned, he wanted to leave and never see this guy ever again, so he settled on simply saying, "hon hon baguette, go fuck yourself. You pretentious asshole!" before stomping out of Enjolras' house. 

 

~Black the color of the time jump~

By the time he got home he felt terrible and he didn't have any idea why, so he decided to bring it up to his friends the next day.

 

"You actually said that to him? What the hell, R?" Bahorel asked.

 

"Because he's an asshole and he seriously frustrates me." He grumbled, slouching in his seat and crossing his arms.

 

Jehan and Bahorel shared a look at that, "Sexually frustrates, maybe." 

 

"I am not attracted to him!"

 

"Face it Grantaire, you like Enjolras as much as Marius likes Cosette." Jehan said as if it were obvious. 

 

Marius went bright red, "I do not like- Okay yeah, she's really pretty." 

 

Grantaire frowned, "I am not anything like Pontmercy over there."

 

"You're just embarrassed that you actually have a legitimate crush on someone." Marius said.

 

"Grantaire has a crush? You mean he actually has the ability to like other people?" Enjolras asked as he sat down beside Bahorel.

 

Everyone seemed to get awkwardly silent at that, looking between the two of them, "I like plenty of people, just because you aren't one of them doesn't mean you get the right to be bitter about it."

 

"Oh trust me, I am not at all bitter that you don't like me." Enjolras rolled his eyes.

 

"Oh yeah? So you don't care at all who I have a crush on?" Grantaire challenged, leaning forward on the table.

 

Enjolras narrowed his eyes, "Not one bit. I actually only came over here because I've been told that Marius here likes my sister."

 

Marius opened his mouth to say something about it but was cut off by Grantaire's sharp laughter, "You actually came over here to grill Marius about your sister? You're really going to be one of those guys?"

 

"One of what guys?"

 

"The kind that feels like he has to protect his sister from guys and can't let her make her own decisions." 

 

"Of course I'm not! I just wanted to give him some help asking her out." 

 

"Seriously? Pointers on asking your sister out?" Grantaire asked with disbelief. 

 

"Why is it so hard to believe that I actually want Marius to date my sister?" 

 

"Because you're you. The asshole, remember?" 

 

"I am not an asshole, you just don't like me." 

 

"I never said I didn't like you, but if that's what you want to believe."

 

Jehan sighed and stood, "Alright you two, maybe you should take your weird foreplay out of the cafeteria. Go talk in the hallway or something, and not in front of everyone." 

 

They both turned odd shades of red, Grantaire stuttered out, "This isn't foreplay, damn it." While Enjolras asked, "Why on Earth would this be foreplay?" 

 

"Doesn't matter, leave the table. Some of us have homework to do." Jehan said sternly, leaving no room for argument.

 

The two stood and awkwardly walked to the hallway, where they stopped in a secluded corner to continue the conversation. Enjolras bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck, "So...you have some interesting friends."

 

Grantaire laughed, "Yeah, they are pretty weird sometimes." 

 

Enjolras rolled his eyes after a few minutes of awkward silence, "Are we really incapable of having a pleasant conversation?"

 

"Well it wouldn't be so hard if you didn't feel like you have to be right about everything."

 

"It wouldn't be so hard if you didn't have to disagree with everything I say!"

 

"Maybe I wouldn't disagree if you actually had good opinions about things!"

 

"Maybe I wouldn't feel the need to be right if you weren't so wrong about everything!" 

 

Neither of them could say how exactly it happened, but one minute they were shouting, and the next Enjolras had pushed Grantaire into a wall and kissed him. 

 

Enjolras' grip on Grantaire's hips was hard enough to bruise, and Grantaire's fingers tangled into Enjolras' hair so much it was amazing they didn't get stuck there. The kiss was hot and intense and didn't last very long, but they were panting by the time they pulled away.

 

"Wow, so, um....." Grantaire started.

 

"Yeah, that was....unexpected." Enjolras finished. 

 

They slowly unwound themselves from each other and Enjolras took a step back, "So, what are we going to do about this?"

 

Grantaire rubbed at his neck awkwardly, "I don't really know...." 

 

"Well I for one am willing to give this a chance." Enjolras said, gesturing between the two of them. 

 

Grantaire couldn't help but smile, "Yeah but we fight all the time."

 

Enjolras shrugged, "Maybe we can get over our differences."

 

Grantaire opened his mouth to argue more but Enjolras cut him off by pulling him into another kiss, one that Grantaire melted into happily. 

 

The tension between the two of the lessened after they began dating, they still had their fights but they weren't nearly as bad as they used to be, and their friends were very happy about that.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing was inspired by my tumblr url honhonbaguettegofuckyourself, and Mle putting the idea in of Grantaire yelling it at Enjolras. 
> 
> I'm not sorry.


End file.
